Mary Lou (Tolen) Ray

Mary Lou Tolen Ray, beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and cherished friend, passed away peacefully on June 19, 2026 at Monroe Community Hospital, leaving a legacy of love and warmth that will be forever treasured by those whose lives she graced. Born on December 5, 1938 in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, Mary Lou’s life was a tapestry woven with compassion, steadfast devotion, and an unwavering generosity that touched everyone around her.

Growing up in Harrisburg, Mary Lou was raised by her devoted parents, James Tolen and Mary G. Tolen (Smith), who preceded her in death. Their guidance and love helped shape the caring, resilient woman she would become. Over the years, Mary Lou’s journey would take her through new places and experiences, but always, she carried with her the values of integrity, kindness, and unshakeable faith in the goodness of people.

Above all, Mary Lou was a beacon of love for her family. She is survived by her loving husband, Robert (Bob) Ray, of 66 years who was her partner in life and her greatest companion through challenges and joys alike. Together, they built a life filled with laughter, shared dreams, and unforgettable memories that her family will cherish forever.

Her daughters, Linda (David) Gramza and Jen (Patrick) Donofrio remember their mother’s nurturing spirit, her wisdom, and her strength. Mary Lou’s encouragement and gentle guidance paved the way for their own lives, and her words of support and compassion resonate in their hearts.

Mary Lou’s heart extended even further as she embraced her role as a grandmother with tremendous joy. She leaves behind her grandchildren, Jessica (Scott) Owens and Elizabeth (Alysha) Stanchus, who will forever remember their grandmother’s warm hugs, kind words, and the way her smile could brighten the darkest day. Great Grand Children Haley, Jackson, and Emma Owen were equally touched by Mary Lou’s boundless love—her presence in their lives was a true blessing and a source of comfort and inspiration.

Mary Lou’s family was her foundation, but her kindness knew no bounds. She is also survived by her dear sister, Sally (Richard) Greevy, who shared a lifetime of memories, support, and sisterly love with her.

Mary Lou’s legacy is one of optimism, selflessness, and profound love. She built strong bridges between generations, her touch ever gentle and her words always honest. Though she is no longer with us in body, her spirit lingers in the hearts of all who knew her—her love continuing to ripple through the family and community she so dearly cherished.

To honor her remarkable life, family and friends are invited to a Visitation with Family on Friday, June 26, 2026, from 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM at New Comer Funeral Home, Westside, 2636 Ridgeway Ave, Rochester, NY 14626. A Memorial Service will follow on Saturday, June 27, 2026, at 10:00 AM at the same location.

We hold Mary Lou Tolen Ray in our hearts, grateful for the gift of her life, her kindness, and the precious memories she leaves behind. Hers was a generous heart—may we continue to honor her memory by sharing that same love and gentleness with others, as she did every day of her life.