Palma S. Anselm

Palma “Pat” S. Anselm passed away peacefully on February 4, 2026, at the age of 94. Born to Italian immigrants Christopher and Josephine Ruisi on July 17, 1931, in Rochester, New York, Palma lived a life rooted in faith, resilience, and unwavering devotion to her family. Pat is survived by her beloved children, Tom (Rebekah), Cindy (Wayne) Neuharth, and Barb (Jim) Bright; her cherished grandchildren, Adam (Maria), Jessica, Katie (Conor), and Corey (Angela); her great-granddaughter, Elizabeth; her great-great-granddaughter, Rosemary; her brother-in-law, Brad Shea; along with dear nieces, nephews, cousins, extended family members, and friends who were blessed to know her. She now reunites with her husband, Carl and son Mike, whose love she carried with her, always.

A proud graduate of Benjamin Franklin High School, Class of 1949, Palma began her working life at Wegmans, where she formed lifelong friendships, including her dear friend June, who worked alongside her and later introduced her to her brother, Carl. That introduction led to a marriage in 1956 and the beginning of a lifelong partnership rooted in commitment, loyalty, and shared devotion to family.

Together, Pat and Carl built their home in Greece, New York, where they raised their children and created a life centered around hard work, tradition, and togetherness. Their marriage was steady and enduring, the kind built not on grand gestures, but on showing up every day, caring for one another, and building something lasting. The home they created became a gathering place filled with food, laughter, cousins, neighbors, and the unmistakable warmth of family.

Pat later devoted twenty-four years to the Greece Central School District, serving in library and administrative support roles. She worked until the remarkable age of 90, a testament to her independence, determination, and enduring vitality. She was so loved in her school community that Greece Olympia High School honored her with a bench inscribed “Take a Load Off,” recognizing the countless students who admired and respected her, and the colleagues she supported with quiet strength and care who became lifelong friends.

Pat was a woman who stayed busy, always tending, always caring. She bowled in a league well into her 80s and never lost her competitive spark at the Yahtzee or Gin Rummy table. Thursday nights meant “breakfast for dinner,” a tradition born from bowling league days that continues in her family today. She loved tending to her beloved vegetable and flower gardens, reading the daily newspaper cover to cover, and watching her favorite shows like “Family Feud” and “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Pat loved Sundays during football season, always rooting for her beloved Buffalo Bills!

Her greatest pride was the family she and Carl raised together. She never missed a birthday, school concert, sporting event, play, anniversary, or milestone. Whether cheering from the stands, sitting in an auditorium, or preparing someone’s favorite meal, she showed up. Pat was steady, present, and proud. Taking care of her loved ones was not just something she did; it was who she was.

She was deeply thoughtful in the quiet ways, too. Every birthday and holiday was marked with a handwritten card for loved ones, carefully chosen, personally signed, and sent without fail. Pat made sure you felt remembered.

Beginning in 1987, summers at the family cottage on Loon Lake became sacred. Pat was rarely found sitting still. She was pulling weeds, cooking, tending the house, and moving seamlessly between kitchen and garden while family and neighbors gathered. The cottage echoed the life she and Carl built. Their space was active, welcoming, rooted in tradition. Pat’s kitchen was her command center, and food was her love language. She remained faithful to traditional Italian recipes, perfected over decades and made the same way every time because tradition mattered. She didn’t need new recipes; she had already mastered what was meaningful.

Christmas Eve was legendary. Gathered at her sister Lucy’s home, the family attended Midnight Mass and then returned for a sprawling Italian feast that lasted until three in the morning and it was always loud, joyful, warm, and overflowing with love. These were the traditions Pat and Carl carried forward for their children and grandchildren, ensuring that family remained at the center of everything.

Though warm and nurturing, Pat possessed a quiet, unshakable strength. Nothing could stop her. Physical challenges never defined her; she met them head-on with determination and grit. She was independent, resilient, and a fighter in the truest sense.

Her Catholic faith grounded her, and her Italian heritage shaped her fierce loyalty to family and tradition. She worked at the polls during elections year after year, faithfully serving her community. She believed in showing up, doing the work, and taking care of what was important: her home, marriage, and family.

Pat shared a lifelong bond with her beloved sister Sandy. Together, they embodied the strength, devotion, and grace of the Ruisi women, a legacy that continues through generations. Her legacy lives in the home she built with Carl, in every birthday remembered, every handwritten card tucked into a drawer, every pan of baked pasta, every Thursday night breakfast for dinner, every loud Christmas Eve, every summer at the lake, and every grandchild she cheered on from the sidelines.

In honoring Pat, may we keep the traditions alive by cooking the recipes the same way she did, staying a little too long at the table, calling each other often, and never missing the important moments. Family was everything to her. Loving them well was her life’s work.

Pat’s Funeral Mass will be celebrated on May 22nd, at 10 AM at St. John the Evangelist Church, 2400 W. Ridge Rd.